Posted by: Ingrid | October 26, 2013

10 Reasons To Stay Pregnant Forever

1.  Ability to sleep for 9 hours at a time without having to feed, burp, rock, and diaper a baby.

2.  Super savings on diapers.

3.  You never have to worry about losing the baby weight if the baby hasn’t appeared.

4.  All bad performances at races can be explained away with the excuse “but I’m pregnant”.

5.  Because a basketball shaped baby bump is infinitely preferable to the scary postpartum stomach that small children like to poke with their fingers.

6.  Less laundry involved with no baby clothes and since I am down to only a few outfits that look okay and feel like they cover my stomach.

7.  Carte blanche to eat as much ice cream as I want (if only it sounded good).

8.  Ability to use “Expectant Mother” parking spots – the next best thing to owning a handicap parking pass.

9.  Angry late pregnancy hormones trump weepy emotional postpartum hormones any day.  And they’re more productive.

10.  You never have to spend another dollar on pregnancy tests or stay up nights wondering.

Forever, folks.  This baby is not going anywhere soon!  (Maybe I should try walking?)

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Responses

  1. It’s hard for me to decide which of these points I agree with most. It would be number 1 except even not being pregnant I never get 9 hours sleep. 2,3,4,5 & 6 are all tied I guess. I was always eager for the pregnancy to last as long as possible and both babes were a week late bc I was always so nervous about the sleep deprivation (though in truth I found I actually got more sleep once the basketball was out).

  2. Two of mine were two weeks late… one was THREE weeks late (at that time we were living in a foreign country, and so we just had to wait…). But the good news is, they all came out eventually and turned out to be good people, as you know. This dear child will arrive, too. I pray that it is sooner rather than later! Loved this clever post of yours, Betsy

  3. Well heck! Sign me up!


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