If you exercise 3-5 times per week you have a 26% reduction of going into labor before term.

End up with Gestational Diabetes and you are 7 times more likely to get type II Diabetes later in life.

A combination of poverty and Gestational Diabetes increases your child’s likelihood of having ADHD.

A minimum of 4 months breastfeeding lowers a baby’s risk for MS later in life.

If you eat extra fiber you may gain 3.25 fewer pounds than women who choose white bread (high fiber eaters gained 27 pounds to the other group’s 30).  What if you prefer to gain less than either, is what I want to know.

80% of new moms hold onto some pregnancy pounds.

Moms who breastfed retained 0.9 fewer pounds per 3 months over moms who didn’t.

Depressed mothers have babies that are shorter than average.

Mothers who eat lots of chips tend to have babies that exhibit the same symptoms of babies whose mom’s smoked during pregnancy.

And that’s just the beginning!

Not listed in the magazine was the percentage of first time mothers who go crazy after reading that many pregnancy statistics.

Also featured are expensive maternity outfits (I have yet to discover why designers think that pregnant women want to show off swollen, chubby, varicose vein lined legs while hugely pregnant.  I don’t!), a lineup of maternity jeans (the ones that look most like your pre-pregnancy jeans will run you $167), and a belly band you can strap around your expanding waistline to play music to your baby (Or, um… you could just sing?)

First time moms beware.  I tend to laugh at most of the stuff in there, but I feel like pregnant women get such a crazy mix of messages.  Don’t gain too much weight!  You will end up fat, with diabetes, a C section, and a huge baby – and the weight will never come off!  But don’t gain too little either or your baby will be born to early and you will be a bad mom for starving your child!  Drink some caffeine but not too much!  Exercise daily, but only moderately and for 30 minutes.  Don’t drink alcohol unless you are pregnant and live in Europe!

Gah.

It is a hazardous thing to be pregnant in this information age unless you are willing to do a good deal of laughing and strategic disregarding of information.

So we moved.  Or are nearly moved.  Something along those lines.  We officially had to be out by July 1, but when we realized that our California trip was going to knock out almost 3 weeks in June it became imperative that we find a place and move before June.  Thanks to a friend who was walking by a nearby street, we looked at a house less than two weeks ago, signed the lease 3 days ago, and moved in 2 days ago.  May I note:

It is HARD to pack anything with small children.  Close to impossible, even.

It is not fun to move while pregnant, though 17.5 week is better than a move at 36 weeks and another move a week postpartum.

We have some incredibly good friends who not only helped us move our stuff (and for a small house we have a lot of stuff) but who also took on the daunting task of watching our two boys.  Watching the boys I think is by far the harder job.

I never want to move again but we probably will have to in a year.

Next time we move I think the smartest way to cut down on stuff is to get rid of our 3,000 books and invest in a Kindle and also get rid of all our children.  That should decrease the boxed stuff by about 80%.

We did not move into our dream house, by any stretch of the imagination, but oh, the space!  There is SO much more space than we had before that I am extremely glad to have made the move.  Husband pointed out that in the 5 moves we’ve made in our 6.5 years of marriage, each one has been a little more of an upgrade.  We started out in a 400 square foot studio and I had to put the crockpot on the bathroom counter to cook!  There is something about moving up incrementally that keeps me feeling incredibly grateful for the new opportunity and ready to leave the old place.  There is something nice about moving when you feel done with a space.

We have been in this house 3 years and 9 months, the longest of any of our stays.  And as I sit in the quietness of this house in which we had two children I am both grateful for the space that we had (a step up from our 1 bedroom California apartment) and ready to move on.

As soon as I finish cleaning the kitchen.

Last Saturday was the Free2Run 5K, a race that raises money for and awareness about human trafficking.  I decided to do for the third year in a row when I realized that I would be about 15.5 weeks and should at least be feeling okay-ish.  The first year I did the race I was pregnant, had not run in 2 months because of being injured, and ran it in just under 27 minutes – my slowest 5K ever.  Last year I ran 20:20 and missed being the first woman by about 20 seconds.  This year my goal was to hopefully finish faster than last time I was pregnant, since I am not as far along as I was then and have also been running regularly, which seemed like it should count for something.  I was a little sad to find that the old course had be re-imagined, this time with a hill involved, but since I was pregnant and not chasing a PR it didn’t bother me too much.  Okay, let’s be real.  It bothered me.

It’s hard to say no to a race that begins right out your kitchen window.  And it was such a beautiful day!

The day of the race I prepped my t-shirt.  And then I did a 2 mile warm up.  My goal was to get to 8 miles for the day (31 for the week) by piecing together my warm up, the 5K, and my cool down.  If you are not a runner, I realize that sounds dumb.  If you are a runner and accustomed to at least getting in a long-ish weekend run, you understand.

Husband decided to walk with the boys and the stroller while I ran.  There were about 130 or so runners and walkers and we all lined up, the gun went off, and we ran.

As I began to run I remembered something important.  I HATE being crowded in by other people.  I sort of feel this way about driving too, which is why I think it is fortunate that I have only received one speeding ticket in my life.  My goal, both in running and driving, is not not be near people while doing either activity.  This is one of the reasons that I love the idea of the Boston Marathon but have the feeling I would hate it in actuality.  I like to run races by myself.  Logical, no?

So I took off running.  And as I watched my Garmin hit 6:30 I had that sweet and glorious feeling.  The feeling you get when you slip into cold water on a hot day.  Or sink onto a soft couch when you’ve been on your feet for hours.  Or that first bite of a smooth and silky chocolate dessert.  Those moments where you think, truly: Oh. My. God.  Except there I was equating those blissful feelings with running a 6:30 pace, which I held for all of a minute.  But this was the fastest I’d run in 13 weeks and, oh my, the endorphin high from that moment was incredible!

After that, I just ran.  I ran a pace that felt good and comfortable and sustainable.  I hit mile 1 at just over a 7 minute pace and mile 2 (even with the hill) was a 7:15.  I never paid attention to mile 3.  It was such a good feeling to be out there and running harder than I had in forever and feeling good that I actually thought someone was making fun of me when they yelled that I was the first woman.  Maybe I would have run a bit faster if I believed them, but I didn’t.  The only category I knew I was capable of winning was the “Expectant Mothers” category.  Plus I knew that I’d seen women start ahead of me and I didn’t really remember passing any of them.

So I hit the finish line at 22:47, the 16th person to finish,  feeling good, like I hadn’t really raced and wasn’t totally spent, to find out that I really was the first woman to finish (all the cross country girls and fast women must have been elsewhere that morning!).  So I took off and ran another 2.9 miles to get to my 8 mile goal.  I felt like the Energizer Bunny – there’s the crazy pregnant lady again, still running!  Did she ever make it to the finish line?  The guy who came in first finished in 17:45, so you see the discrepancy in times!  I just think it is crazy how the specific field of runners totally dictates the end results (which I know sounds obvious).  But I ran so hard last year and barely got second and then this year I am pregnant, run so much slower and without really racing, end up first.  Whatever.  I got a fun plaque and a free road ID out of it, which I appreciate!

I am also thinking that I may need to start doing some speed work at the track because running fast felt so good.  Maybe I am just crazy.  But I will also admit that I took a 2+ hour nap in the afternoon and was tired (though not really sore) the following morning entire day.

I leave you with this helpful quotation from Dr. Miriam Stoppard from Conception, Pregnancy, and Birth.  “Jogging: This is very hard on your breasts and jarring for your back, spine, pelvis, hips, and knees.  Don’t jog while pregnant.”

That’s right, my pregnant friends.  Don’t jog.  RUN.

Inspirational 5K running song: Hall of Fame

Weight Gain: You know how much you hate it when the scale jumps all over the place?  (Don’t lie… you know you do.)  Well, we have reached that phase of pregnancy, the part where weight fluctuations and pregnancy hormones converge to create the perfect storm.  For the record, I am up 2 pounds from pre-pregnancy.  Today.  But on Monday I was 0.5 pound up.  The next day my weight was 3.5 pounds up from that.  Yesterday it was an additional 1.2 pounds up (cue music from horror film).  But today it’s down several pounds and, so help me, I plan on making that stick around!

Symptoms: Still taking zofran for nausea most days (which I think I can phase out sometime soon) which creates it’s own set of symptoms.  Still moody at times though probably less depressed than I have been since February, so that’s nice.  Exhausted.  Oh, and those varicose veins from the second pregnancy that didn’t go away… yeah.  Yuck.  And ouch.  Something will need to be done about those after this baby comes.  Acid reflux at random times (like midnight) has been another symptom.

What’s different this time: This is the earliest I have begun feeling better.  I really felt like there was a difference this time when I hit 13-14 weeks.  As opposed to the last two times when I went around muttering about the damn liars who write pregnancy books and tell women they will feel better at the start of the magical second trimester.  LIARS all of them.  Also different this time is the fact that I am bigger.  (I really am – not just saying that.).  The weird thing is that for most of this pregnancy I have weighed less than the first two (been at or under my pre-preg 126 until 4 days ago) but I have felt heavier, pudgier, and my stomach is just bigger.  Third baby, I guess.  I thought I had abs of steel.

Maternity Clothes: Not yet.  Most of mine are still on loan to a friend and though I totally felt like I would outgrow everything at 11 weeks, at 15 weeks I am still wearing my normal jeans and shirts – I just look pudgy.  I did manage (last year) to find some $4 tops at Ann Taylor that are sort of like peasant blouses.  They are working very well right now.  Also, best summer maternity clothes ever?  Running shorts and old race t-shirts (as long as you don’t have to look all pulled together).

Cravings/Aversions:  Eggs!  How I love you, eggs.  Also, I have the dubious distinction of eating an entire pineapple the other day without meaning to.  Like I cut it open at lunch time and it was gone by 3:00.  Tomatoes are also delicious right now.  I think it might just be things with high water content.  Steak and other meat is good… pretty much as of two weeks ago food started sounded good again even though I still get sick occasionally.  Carbs, even though I eat them, are not something that I have been a huge fan of.  Peanut butter hasn’t been tasting good either, though bananas (which I found nauseating last pregnancy) are totally fine.

Sleep: I feel tired, but not as tired as I did a few weeks ago.  My most aggravating sleep complaint has been the onset of pregnancy insomnia; a kid wakes up, my husband snores erratically, and I watch the minutes tick by as I don’t sleep.  Not a fan.

I am loving:  Um.  Pineapple.  Duh.  Also the sunshine and the fact that it’s warmer.  The sun makes all the difference in the world.

I miss: I miss my body.  How I can be pregnant three times in 4.5 years and have managed to forget just how hard dealing with my changing and expanding body is never ceases to amaze me.  I also miss running really hard and training for something.

Are you nesting?  We are moving this month.  I am trying to figure out how to pack.

Milestones: Entering the second trimester (even according to my doctor’s office, which considers the second trimester to begin at 15 weeks.  Huh?).  I also feel like I have (again because of the waning nausea) come to a place of more acceptance of being pregnant.

Best moment this week: Feeling better is at the top of the list.  I am also glad to be done with my class.  I don’t miss driving back and forth two nights a week and getting to bed late on lab night.  Finding pineapple on sale for $1.59 was also nice.

I am stressing over:  Moving and the fact that the house we are moving into isn’t one that I love.  It will work for a year and the location is great, but I want wide open spaces, a dish washer, and beauty.  Hardwood floors, a private gym, a jacuzi tub, and a live in family member would also be nice.  Body image stuff is also rearing its ugly head as the nausea wanes and I down entire pineapples.

Movement:  I think so.  There have been little “bops” this past week that I am pretty sure are movement.

It’s a: My guess right now is girl.  However, based on my track record I have been sure we were having a girl both other times and look who was wrong.

Exercise: Running is feeling better now that I am not exhausted and puking on a daily basis.  I hit 35 miles last week and 36 the week before.  I am doing a 5K this weekend which messes with the running schedule, but I would be happy staying close to 30 mpw for a while.  I also did my first 10 miler in 8 weeks last Friday.  Did weights for the first time in about 8 weeks too and was sore for three days after.  My goal this week is to do them twice.  Still cross training a few times per week as well.

Diet: I am all over the place with food but as my weight has started jumping I am feeling the need to keep better track of what I am eating.  I still eat a lot of carbs when I feel nauseous but I would prefer to be eating a clean/closer to Paleo diet if I had my way.  Since the nausea has not completely lifted I am trying to cut myself some slack.  I am eating tons of fruit and veggies again though, so that’s a plus.

Exercise goal for the upcoming weeks: Run the 5K and have fun.  Do weights consistently twice a week.  Keep my mileage at 30-35.  I would love to up my long runs but we’ll have to see!

Belly Shot:

I started Microbiology and marathon training in January at the same time.  Then I got pregnant.

In the end I completely dropped marathon training and barely finished Micro (50% success rate on large projects begun in 2013).  Once the nausea kicked in I couldn’t believe that two years prior I had managed to take Chemistry and Pharmacology and never missed a class. This time around my motto was “Excellent results with good enough effort”.  I had to get a 4.0, since most nursing programs do a point system and you get points awarded based on your grade in key classes.

So what was “good enough”?  It meant reading over the notes daily but not nearly enough.  It meant forgetting to look at the study questions.  It meant skipping lab one night because I felt sick instead of pushing through.  It meant not studying at all for the final lab quiz because I knew the instructor would drop the lowest score and I had 100% on the quizzes.  It meant getting through the first 5 exams with a 98% so that I could plan to skip the sixth exam (he dropped the lowest score of the six) and the five nights of lecture pertaining to it so that I could lay on my back and feel sick (I have NEVER skipped an exam in my life, even if I knew one would be dropped).  It meant not knowing all the answers on the final.

But when grades went up today, my “good enough” was good for a 4.0.

So now I am done with all my prerequisites and am feeling a little like I’m all dressed up with no place to go.  There is a good chance that we won’t be here more than a year.  At which point we could move anywhere and I could face an entirely different set of classes that need to be taken, provided we can manage to not get pregnant again.  Which, given our every-two-year track record would be asking a lot.

It is a bit anti-climactic knowing that I finally got through the classes but feel like it doesn’t matter much in the big picture.  So I did the only logical thing and went out to dinner with Husband to celebrate over seafood stuffed steak.  Sometimes you just need to celebrate regardless of how you feel.  And any excuse for a steak is fine with me!

I don’t miss reading about microbes and infectious diseases over nap time.  AT ALL!

I opted to do Wednesday, April 17.  As soon as I started the day I wanted to do a take back, but honestly, I don’t think any of the other days this week would have been much better.

4:50 am: Jonathan starts yelling.  I drag myself out of bed six minutes later mumbling something about darned kids who are still breastfeeding at 18 months.

I walk into his room and he sits up like a Jack-in-the box, saying: “Mama!  Mama!” and promptly closes his eyes and opens his mouth.

5:15 am: I stumble back to bed where my alarm goes off at 5:50.  I hit snooze until 6:10, when Husband enters to wake me up.  I manage to open my eyes at 6:15.  I tentatively swing my legs out of bed at 6:20.  Isaac, of course, is already up and sitting in his room.  I pour an inch of coffee and try to wake up as Husband rails against the mess that is adult education.

6:45 am: I slowly get ready to run, popping a single shot block that is left in the package.  Because there is nothing like 33 calories to fuel a run.

7:15 am: I finally make it out the door.  It is 32 degrees, windy, and sort of rainy/lightly sleeting.  Who needs coffee?  Running in this weather is bracing enough!  I am hoping to do 6 miles and am enjoying myself so much that I do 8.  It takes me an hour and 13 minutes, fully 6 minutes more than a slow 8 miles would take me when I’m not pregnant.  Pink and Fallout Boy see me through and I actually enjoy the run.  I am finding more and more that the constantly slow runs bother me.

I just want to get through the distance in a normal amount of time!  But when I enjoy the process and the scenery it’s so much better.  If you try to tie in life lessons here, I will probably smack you.

8:30 am: I return home and jump into the flurry of getting people dressed and fed.

Isaac gets dressed and then watches part of The Sword in the Stone, one of his current favorites.

9:00 am: I take Isaac across the parking lot to preschool.  After I make my escape I come home to the horrendous mess that is our house and pop a Zofran.  I make some eggs, which I eat every day without fail.  I crave eggs.

I consider taking a prenatal vitamin, but having been unable to stomach one yet, I decline.  It’s been 14 weeks of no prenatals, what’s another day?  Husband exits stage left, en route to teaching in Lansing and Dearborn.  This schedule means that he will be home around midnight.

I clean the house while Jonathan hangs out and I change jeans 5 times.  I am at the weird jean stage of pregnancy where all my jeans fit until noon and then they don’t button anymore.  But if I move up to my “fat” jeans, the waist doesn’t fit right and they fall down.  Good times.

9:47 am: I try making cottage cheese with nonfat milk.  Supposedly this should work.  I have had great success with 1% milk but the verdict is “don’t bother” when it comes to nonfat milk.

I promptly toss the results.  I also finish the dishes.

10:30 am: Time for second breakfast!  Followed almost immediately by a graham cracker and cottage cheese.

10:52 am: After reading a few books together, Jonathan finally succeeds in completely getting on my nerves.

I remove him to his crib and take myself to the living room.  I think our problem is the fact that today he hits 18 months and I am 13 weeks 6 days pregnant.

That’s enough to mess with anyone’s relationship.  Ah, quiet.  Finally.

11:30 am: We head out in the stroller to get Isaac from preschool.

By now it is snowing.  Because what else would it be doing in Michigan at the end of April.  I take a line from What to Expect and mentally turn it into our state motto.  Michigan: Where happiness goes to die.  You can’t actually see the snow flakes in the picture below, but trust me, they are there.

11:40-12:10 pm: We decide to hit the library.  Since we can see the library from our house, traveling there through snow and wind with two small children in a stroller is no big deal.  Once there, Isaac plays with the chess set and breaks a knight and Jonathan tries to see how many DVD’s he can remove from their cases while I am not looking.

12:25 pm: We having lunch and I try something I have wanted to try for a while – making microwave popcorn using normal popcorn and a brown paper bag.  It works!

Though I do burn the first batch.  Popcorn, yogurt, and hot chocolate for lunch – works for me.

Lunch is set to the back drop of a really annoying CD that I picked up at the library.

1:15 pm: We discover the sound on my laptop has quit working and Isaac has a meltdown when he discovers he can’t watch Diego.  He runs around the house with his sword while I nurse Jonathan and lay him down for a nap.  I try roasting some garbanzo beans that I saw on Pinterest.

1:40 pm: Isaac and I read a book and he goes down for his “nap”.  I finally get to eat my lunch as well as check email, waste time on Pinterest, and do other nap related tasks.

3:00 pm: The stench from Isaac’s room suggests that I change him.  The kid is completely potty trained, including staying dry at nights, except for the fact that he poops in a diaper almost every day at nap time.  I hate it.  It is nauseating.  Today is special and Isaac has, for the first time ever, stuck his hands in his diaper and then touched other stuff in his room.  I get very mad and say mean things to him.

3:35 pm: I start feeling nauseous and start snacking, hoping to quell the nausea.  I discover Isaac has fallen asleep and I wake him up at 3:58.

4:00 pm: The babysitter arrives.  I try not to think about the fact that we have spent almost the grocery budget in babysitting this month because that has been the only way to survive without family helping us.  With my microbiology final the next evening and a Tuesday and Wednesday where husband works 9 am to 11:30 pm and I am home all day with the kids, some things have to give.  Apparently our budget is that thing.

4:00-6:00 pm: I head out to study, stopping by a bathroom to throw up.  I spend an hour on the stationary bike with my micro notes and then get off and study some more.

6:00 pm: I return home feeling exhausted and nauseous.  I throw both boys in the bath tub where they do a lot of splashing and not listening and I do a lot of yelling.

I get them in pajamas, feed them dinner, and (barely) get through the bedtime routine.

All I can think while trying to get through the last hour and a half is; “Why is this so f****** hard?”  I know I am the only parent out there who has thoughts like that, especially with bad words thrown in for good measure, but there you go.  Day in the life, folks.  (And yes, I realize that the above pictures make them look like adorable and effortless charges.)

7:30 pm: The sun comes out for the first time all day, just in time for the boys to go to bed.  Jonathan nurses and then grabs my hand, pulls it over his face and then pulls it out crowing: “A BOO!”  So we play peek-a-boo a few times before I lay him down.

7:44 pm:  Isaac needs to get out and go to the bathroom.  ”Will my shift ever be over?” I wonder.

7:45-9:00 pm: I waste time, I try to study.  I continue feeling exhausted, sore, and nauseous.  The bread that sounded so good when I got home and the cereal that sounded like it would cure the nausea gets thrown up along with everyone else.

9:00 pm: I go in and feed Jonathan praying that he will sleep through the night.  I brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

9:31 pm:  I am done.  There is nothing left.  I realize that I am wearing the same cold weather pajamas that I was wearing back in January for the Winter Day in the Life.  That is depressing.

I climb in bed and sleep the sleep of an exhausted pregnant woman, waking only to roll over to the other side when Husband arrives home sometime near midnight.

The End.

2.  Be sure to announce to your husband and anyone else who is around how you are absolutely not wanting to be pregnant or have another baby at the moment.

3.  Make future plans that you would actually enjoy doing that do not involve pregnancy, nursing a baby, constant nausea, or lack of sleep.

4.  Lend out all your cute maternity clothing.

5.  Choose your birth control based on not wanting to be impacted by hormones.

This method seems to work for me.

Weight Gain:  Down about 2 pounds from pre-preg weight.  Wish it was 5-10.  Who are those women who post on pregnancy forums, “I am thin and have been sick two weeks and have lost eight pounds.”  What do they have that I lack?  Because being sick all the time and NOT losing much weight, really sucks.

Symptoms: This is a terrible terrible set of weeks.  What symptoms have I not had?  Exhaustion, vomiting with and without zofran.  Mood swings, hot flashes, extreme aversions, hatred of every single person around me.  Depression, constipation, bloating.  Extreme possessiveness over the foods that I can eat (while husband seems to be trying to eat MORE of those particular foods).  Desire to disown entire family and run away.

What’s different this time:  My husband’s schedule is not flexible like it was last time so that means if I get extra sleep I don’t get to exercise or do anything else I enjoy, leaving me feeling constantly trapped.  Last time I wanted this to be happening.  This time I most decidedly do not.  Last time I’d gained weight and this time I have lost two pounds.  This time there are even fewer people around to help, which is a whole post of its own.  This time I pay people to come in and help because the alternative is possibly killing my children or myself.

Cravings/Aversions:  Just the thought of food is nauseating most of the time.  Or maybe thinking makes me nauseous?  I’m not really sure.  I want salty things most of the time.  On the aversion list (which is very very long) are almost all sweets, cereal, milk products (except sharp cheese), ice cream, veggies, fruits, peanut butter, artificial sweetener, coffee, water, juice, bread, beans, anything with red sauce, anything Mexican, anything with garlic.  Eggs are usually okay, but only scrambled and with lots of salt.  I have not taken a single prenatal vitamin simply because the thought of swallowing a pill makes me want to throw up.  I have “dream cravings” like wanting a super salty wrap with ranch dressing and bacon or to chug a fishbowl margarita.  Things that would make me very sick but that I wish for.  It’s not that I don’t eat the foods that sound bad, sometimes I do and then I regret it.

Sleep: Last time I remember skimping on sleep a bit.  This time it is a bad night if I only get 8 hours.  I can easily sleep 10 hours and still be tired during the day.

I am loving:  I am loving nothing about this experience so far.  When I find something though, I will for sure let you know!

I miss: My body.  My life.  Feeling functional.  Enjoying things.  Enjoying food.  Feeling well.  Having energy.  Having a digestive system that actually works.  Drinking water.  Having hope for the future.

Are you nesting?  I hired someone to come for two hours because I had not cleaned the house in over a month and the dirt and grime was getting disgusting and making me sick.  I did manage to clean the toilet after three weeks since I am hugging it on a daily basis.

Milestones: Baby is now a fetus and I have dragged myself into the double digits of pregnancy.

Best moment(s):  On the day I hit 10 weeks I was able to eat a normal (clean) diet all day without puking and (almost) without nausea.  That was short lived.  Also, when I came home after the house was cleaned and things were put away.  Granted, I paid for the experience of a clean house, but it was still nice.

I am stressing over:  I am simultaneously stressed over the fact that it feels like the puking will never end (and if this is anything like last pregnancy I am only half way through) and then, when/if it does end, I will gain weight like crazy.

Movement:  No.

It’s a:  Parasitic fetus.  Actually, I would liken it to an uninvited guest that parks itself in your house and demands night and day feeding and care while giving you a three month case of the flu.  And that’s how I feel about that.

Exercise:  I have completely given up doing weights for now.  Hopefully I can pick that up when I feel better.  I have just been too sick to do anything but the “necessary”.  Running has been hard because if I sleep in I am stuck and I never know when I will feel nauseous or have an afternoon/evening that will be spent puking up everything including liquids.  Kind of hampers trying to have a consistent running schedule!  I had one week where my mileage dipped down to 26 miles but I have gamely tried to keep it at 30-ish miles per week.  And oh, they are slow miles!  Like if I hit 9:15 I am doing really well.  I don’t know if it is the bad hydration, exhaustion, caloric deficit, or vomiting taking there toll, but I am crazy slow and hating it.  Also doing some ab work, for what it’s worth, which is not much.  For a couple of weeks I was just getting in the running and not doing any cross training, but I think I am back to doing something on the non-running days, even if it is for only 45-50 minutes.

Diet: My diet is whatever I can eat and keep down.  Most carbs are bad.  Sweets are bad.  Eggs are good.  I am not eating a great diet but that will change as soon as I can stomach things like veggies, fruits, grains, yogurt, etc. again.  My biggest weakness right now is when the nausea escalates and I think that eating will help but then it doesn’t.  Then, three bowls of raisin bran in,  I throw up everything.

Exercise goal for the upcoming weeks:  Keep my mileage at 30 miles, try to up it if I am feeling at all better and try to at least add in weights once.  Once I really start feeling better I would love to get back up to 35-40, cross train more, add in weights, and maybe do some “speed” intervals at an 8:00 minute pace.  Which would be some serious speed work these days.

Belly Shot:

So the character is supposed to be giving a speech about the wonderful radiant pregnancy glow (after a pregnancy full of all sorts of discomfort and symptoms) and she sets down her notes, looks out at her audience full of women, and says:  ”“I just wanted the glow. I just wanted what they promised you on the cover of those magazines. Well I’m calling it.  I’m calling bullsh**.  Pregnancy sucks!  Making a human being is really hard.”

I am not kidding you that I started crying when she gave her speech and that I tear up every single time I read those words.  Because that is more along the lines of my experience.  And while I am grateful that we are able to get pregnant and thankful for what so far seems to be a healthy (if decidedly unplanned) pregnancy, that does not alleviate the fact that really, in my little world, pregnancy sucks.  Along with that, it is awkward, embarrassing, and lonely.

So if you are uncomfortable dealing with pregnancy on those terms, I’ll catch you in two more trimesters.  I can promise you lots of cute baby pictures then.  We do seem to produce cute offspring.

Due Date:  October 24 (based on my other pregnancies I would estimate October 28)

Weight Gain: Starting at 126.  None so far.

Symptoms:  Since I have known about this all of a week, there is not much to report.  A little bloated and tired but the real symptoms have not emerged yet.

What’s different this time:  This was absolutely not in the plans.  Aside from my mom dying and my husband losing his job this is probably the angriest I have been about something in the past seven years.  I have no desire to be pregnant and I have even less desire to sign onto another 18 year commitment at the end of a pregnancy I don’t want.

Cravings/Aversions:  None.  I will enjoy that while it lasts.

Sleep:  Getting plenty of sleep.

I am loving:  Nothing at all about this.  But I suppose I should say that I am loving feeling normal before the nausea comes and kicks me to the curb for the next four months.

I miss:  Feeling like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Looking forward to actually doing something long term that I would enjoy.  The possibility to do something in the grown up world far away from my children.  Running fast.

Are you nesting?  We have to move out (somewhere?) in four months.  Why would I nest?

Milestones:  The pregnancy test was positive.

Best moment this week:  The day before I took the test and I could pretend that life was still normal and okay.

I am stressing over:  The fact that I feel like motherhood and pregnancy completely take away my person hood.  I am tired of having my life overrun by constant demands.

Movement:  No.

It’s a:  ball of multiplying cells.

Exercise:  Dropped marathon training but am still running, cross training, and lifting.

Diet:  You know, eating clean, exercising, cutting calories and not losing weight.  My typical go-to for early pregnancy.

Exercise goal for the upcoming week:  Figure out what running looks like now that I am no longer training for the marathon.

Belly Shot:

Props to you if you recognize the due date as Jonathan’s second birthday.