Posted by: Ingrid | August 26, 2007

I love analogies. I can’t help it, life is so full of pictures, so full of meaning and interconnectedness. While I was running this morning, I thought that grieving is something like having a violent case of the flu. What you want most from a person is for them to sit with a hand on your head while you throw up, and assure you that while there may be more, at least you got that out. No one wants a person telling them that maybe they aren’t really that sick and they should just not think about it and whatever they do, don’t throw up. You can’t recover from the flu until all the yucky germy stuff is gone. You have to go through it to move past it.

Being has been much on my mind lately. We are so much a culture that would rather either deny that a person has the flu at all or conversely, stick our fingers down the sick person’s throat to maybe get everything out faster so that things can be okay. I think I need this more for me than for anyone else. Sometimes I feel like I need permission to grieve and feel and be where I’m at. Not just permission but unanimous permission. Which is never forthcoming.

Sometimes I think that when people start telling me why this summer has been like it has and what God must be doing, I’m going to start responding by telling them that I think that God is teaching me to live out of what’s been internalized and to stop looking to other people to get permission for what I need.

Or maybe I can just tell them that I have a metaphorical case of the flu and may need to metaphorically throw up.

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