Posted by: Ingrid | April 6, 2009

I need some ideas

Okay, I know that this whole pregnancy thing is worth it in the end, but right now I am just done. Not that I have any say in the matter, but mentally and physically, I’m exhausted. My handy What to Expect book lists boredom as one of the possible things you might encounter during the sixth month of pregnancy along with heart burn, hemorrhoids, and swelling, reinforcing the idea of pregnancy as nine months of recreational fun. I still have a really long way to go and I’m at a loss as to what I should be doing. I do not want to read any more pregnancy books, I don’t want to collect baby stuff since we have no room and will be moving in the summer, I can’t nest, can’t start birthing classes, can’t pack yet, and can’t plan for the next space we’ll have since I don’t know where it will be.

I vaguely recall that this might be the time that I’m supposed to be getting out and doing all those things that will be difficult in a few months because I’ll be enormous and tired or after our baby is born when we’ll be adjusting to a new way of life and I’m figuring out how to take care of a newborn. I think that list includes going out for a romantic dinner and movie with my husband where we gaze into each other’s eyes, visiting all the fun things in my area that I’ve wanted to see (and in Los Angeles/Orange County there are plenty of those), going to the symphony before we need to think about a baby sitter, etc. I’m sure I could compile a lengthy list if I tried. The problem is I’m tired now. Working a desk job for 40 hours a week, coming home to make dinner, try to see my busy husband who works opposite hours and is trying hard to finish 15 graduate units so he can graduate while he job hunts on the side, grocery shopping, doing our taxes and the occasional cleaning, and wanting to fall asleep at 9:00 pm just don’t leave time, energy, or money for the fun things. Which just seems to add to the boredom and frustration. This is not the pregnant life that I want to live but this is the life that I have. Surely there is something that I can do or focus on right now to get through this pregnancy slump, right?

I know that there are people out there who are pregnant right now or have been pregnant recently. How did you do it? What did you or are you doing to get through the boredom? Suggestions are welcome! Anything has to beat wanting to sit in the corner and eat cookies all night when I come home from work for the next 17 weeks and 2 days.

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Responses

  1. It sounds like you have plenty to do, what with working and taxes and groceries and sleeping. Why do you want to do more? Having done this three times now, I’d say that the BEST thing you could POSSIBLY do is sleep. Because you won’t get much of it at the end of your pregnancy and you won’t get much of it when the baby is born. Such is life. So go to bed at 9pm and ENJOY IT. 🙂

  2. Well put Emily. I’d say sleep, blog and eat cookies all night (all without guilt). Throw some movies in there, too. 🙂 It will be exciting soon!

  3. Just live your normal life. Pregnancy’s long. If you are doing it again (and sounds like you want to), you’re going to spend several years like this. You can’t make every minute about pregnancy – you’re right, it’s too boring to be the entire focus of your existence! The sometimes-focus is good enough.

    Sleep’s good. That’s what you’ll really miss doing later. 🙂

    And . . . I totally didn’t know this my first two pregnancies, so it’s not a lecture . . . but be glad to have the prospect of another several months. An uncomplicated pregnancy is a great blessing. When you’re bored, be grateful. You could be not bored, and trust me, that’s worse.

    Make it a spiritual discipline. When you’re bored, when you’re antsy, turn it to prayer. Use it as a prompt for the Jesus prayer. Or for your baby’s health. Or for your husband’s studies. Turn that restlessness into a tool.

    It’s like a boring airplane flight. That’s the kind you WANT. And just like a boring airplane flight: do your normal stuff. Read, chat, pray, sleep, eat. Don’t worry about the landing; it’ll come when it comes.

    🙂 Pregnancy is looooooong. It’s also, weird as this is, a normal state of life. So don’t let it stop you from living your normal life – the work, the dinner, the sleep.

    What should you do? Well, at least some of the answer to that is: what do you want to do?

  4. My totally unsolicited advice (coming from someone only 8 weeks ahead of you that you don’t even know) is to put down the pregnancy books and especially, not to listen to advice that tells you “do everything you want to now, before you become huge and uncomfortable!” You won’t be huge and you won’t be that uncomfortable, because you are fit. Other than a little foot stuck in your ribs from time to time, as the third trimester progresses, you will most likely feel similar to the way you felt in the second. You might not be any more fatigued, or bloated, or whatever those books tell you! You’ll probably be able to continue running and working out, and life will continue to be pretty normal! That’s been my experience, anyway.

    Personally, I was very nervous about the third trimester, and at the 22-23 week mark, I wrote this in rebuttal to all the stuff I read that used to scare me: http://runningpregnant.blogspot.com/2009/02/be-careful-because-when-youre-pregnant.html

    I do understand the “boredom with pregnancy” thing… I think that for us first-time moms, pregnancy can be overwhelming, and one also feels that it should be on your mind all the time. Plus, people will tell you “you won’t have time for ANYTHING after the baby’s born” – so it sometimes feels like focusing on anything else but pregnancy/baby is counterproductive. I decided that those comments did not have to be my reality, and I actually started taking drawing and painting classes to have something else to focus on.

    As long as things are healthy and normal, I agree with the previous poster that an uncomplicated pregnancy is a great blessing!


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