Posted by: Ingrid | August 7, 2009

This is harder than I thought it would be

No.  To anyone wondering about it or thinking they should call to check on it there is no baby.  In fact, the idea of a baby actually showing up at this point seems even more removed than it did 2 weeks ago.  There is no baby.

I don’t think the baby exists.  But wait, he kicks me continuously, so he must exist.

I didn’t think that this would be so hard.

I knew that the average first pregnancy lasts 41 weeks and 1 day.  I knew that just like I know when I sign up for a half marathon that it could take me 2 hours and 45 minutes to run the 13. 1 miles.  But if it really took me that long I wouldn’t know how to handle it because deep down I’d never believe it.

I crossed the 40 week mark in rare form.  Woke up at 5:15 am and went for a 5 mile run.  If there’s anything more gratifying than running 4 miles at 39 weeks 6 days it’s running 5 miles at 40 weeks even.  I felt so good, so exhilerated.  It was wonderful!  Off we went to Disneyland where, in the span of 3 hours we managed to ride all of 3 rides (Pirates was closed): Haunted Mansion, Small World, and Grizzly Falls.

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Sad story… I asked the woman at Indiana Jones what she thought about me riding (I love that ride and it was my due date after all).  Her response: “Look Princess, just keep walking around the park and drink some cod liver oil (did she mean castor oil?).  I wouldn’t recommend going on the ride because the baby’s cord could get wrapped around his neck (I decided that she didn’t need to know that most babies are born with the cord wrapped around their neck).”  I got in line, we got to the ride, we got on, I snapped the seat belt closed.  And the ride broke.  We sat there for 10 minutes and they never got the ride back up.  It was very sad.

From Disneyland we went off to Harry Potter, which my husband lovingly watched with me although he hasn’t read any of the books.  Then to the chiropractor and then we got some of the house cleaned up and friends came over to hang out and barbeque.  We went back to Disneyland just in time for the amazing fireworks and the Fantasmic show.

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Disneyland is the only place that, for 15 minutes can make you believe that “the dream that you wish in your heart will come true.”  But then you go home, go to bed, and realize that all of your contractions are going away and your dream of going into labor is not happening any time soon.  Got to bed at midnight and slept 9 glorious hours.

But then I woke up and I was still pregnant.  I don’t know how to deal with the mental game.  Physically I feel fine.  I feel great.  I have nothing to complain about except for the fact that, after 40 weeks and 280 days I am still pregnant.  And I’m tired of that and worried about the doctor suggesting induction and frustrated with how all of this is impacting all of our future plans.

At 40 weeks and 1 day pregnant I am just done.  Done, done, DONE.

And that’s all I have to say.

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Responses

  1. I read a post on http://www.dooce.com and then read your blog. I don’t know if it will help at all. Maybe? Maybe not? But I hope you can find the humor in it.

    “I had to physically push all these negative thoughts out of my brain because people were sending me stories about women who had gone, like, 18 days past their due date. 18! OH MY GOD! Can you even believe that? Men, you don’t understand this, but that number is just incomprehensible. Because once you go A SINGLE DAY past your due date you are suddenly unable to count past one. What comes after that number? Nothing, right? Because I can’t go another day. I cannot walk, and my face is retaining so much water that I cannot lift it off this pillow, it is so heavy. Wait, two? There’s a number two? TWO?! THEY NEVER TAUGHT ME THAT IN KINDERGARTEN, THOSE BITCHES!

    And suddenly you think, that’s it, I’m going to be pregnant forever. Ask any woman who has ever been pregnant and they will tell you that they have had that thought. And then followed that thought with a giant bowl of chocolate ice cream.”

    You won’t be pregnant forever. It will happen soon. I have been following your blog through your pregnancy and you have done amazing. You’re an inspiration. Just a little while longer!

    • Thanks Kathleen! I was actually reading that the other day. After I read the entire post and laughed a lot It occurred to me that SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO BE PREGNANT ANYMORE! I’m really at my rational best these days. 🙂

  2. Hey Ingrid, want to come over and play with us? Maybe Josiah can encourage Isaac to come out and play. 🙂 We don’t have much planned today and you’d be welcome to come crash our party if you’d like. I’ll probably call you in an hour or two and find out, or you can call me first!

  3. Believe it or not, the birth can happen quickly even if the baby hasn’t dropped. My first did it all at once… and with the other two, my water broke first, and then they came down. Well, all but the last, but that’s another story. However, when it was over, I knew God was in charge because he was alive!
    Maybe Isaac is picking his favorite day for a birthday… Today is 08-07-09, three consecutive digits mixed up. Or maybe he likes 8s or 9s better. Our anniversary is the 12th…

    Love you!

  4. I am going with the theory that he’ll finally realize it’s time to come out and can’t wait to meet his parents, that you will race through the delivery 🙂

  5. Ingrid,
    Oh, I know the feeling! Emerson had his own timetable that wasn’t to my liking. He was due almost a full month before my best friend’s baby and my sister-in-law’s baby. Guess whose babies came first? Not mine!!! A day can feel like eternity. Hang in there. With #2 I had a much better attitude. Do anything you can think of that you enjoy doing that might be hard to do with a newborn. Relish every kick…even when they hurt! You will find that you actually MISS that feeling when he is born. Go get a pedicure with some girl-friends, eat out at a fancy restaurant, shop for a really cute outfit to wear AFTER baby comes.
    I’ll be praying that you can avoid an induction. Though it’s hard to believe at this moment in time…you really won’t be pregnant forever…I promise! 😉
    Love you!

  6. I am 36 weeks and 5 days, and my due date is Aug. 30th, but I just already programmed myself for sept. 9th, which is the date that makes more sense according to my period. You know, don’t get caught up in the pregnancy Math.

    I am more worried about actually not sleeping for weeks and weeks. Take advantage of the fact that you have all day to do whatever you want!

    And you are still running! I am sooo sooo proud of you! perhaps the baby will come out running too…

    Well, I’ve read in one of the Bradley books that one woman was one year pregnant! Can you imagine that?

    Be patient, your little one is going to come out with a bigger brain, and a bigger everything, so it’s good news!

    Whatever happens, please please please write on your blog the minute you start labor and the minute he comes out. I am so curious to see how your delivery will go, because i am a runner I guess, and I think maybe if yours is quick, mine will be as well…

    All the best, and you can do it!!

    Thank you for your inspiration.


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