Posted by: Ingrid | March 2, 2010

Sometimes giving up is okay

I looked back and noticed that I did not have much to say about running in February.  Thank goodness for babies who are easily able to take over one’s life and one’s blog without much effort. The februaries had me frustrated with running and tired and unable to think ahead to any races because it felt like training and running served no purpose.  I think I got in one good 35 mile week but only ended up logging 117 miles for the month which means I couldn’t even average 30 per week!

Back in November I signed up for the Indy half marathon that happens at the beginning of May.  Everyone around here who runs seems to make it a tradition to do that particular race so I decided to sign up too.  I also thought it would get me excited about running in February when it was gloomy and cold.  Way deep down, though I didn’t acknowledge it, I also sort of thought that if I signed up for this run then February would hit and I would be sitting and drinking coffee with other runners, talking about training plans and hanging out.  I thought that I would feel like a part of something, like I had a place I belonged.

But that was not the case.  And that was a very bad reason to commit myself to a run that sells out at 35,000 people (I HATE with a passion huge running events), that is a four hour drive away, and that would involve an overnight hotel stay with a small breastfeeding baby.  Plus February involved treadmill running and discouragement and an overall resistance to starting any type of training program when suddenly I was twelve weeks out from the event.

After a lot of thought I finally took advantage of the transfer program that Indy offers.  I sold my registration to someone on a running board and transfered her in.  All legal and both of us happy in the end.  I don’t feel like giving up was a bad thing, I just wish I’d realized sooner my motives for signing up for a run I didn’t really want to do.

On the other hand, I’m in the third week of a ten week training program right now although I’m not signed up for anything.  Oddly enough I am quite happy to follow a program to the letter as long as I don’t have the pressure of a commitment on the other end.  Sometimes I wish I could mess with the wires in my head that make me do things that make no sense.  However, should I decide, I realized the other day that at the ten week mark from when I started there is a half marathon about an hour away that’s only $35.  And I’m guessing that there won’t be thousands upon thousands of people.  And the best part is I’m not really committed to it.  Yet.

Please tell me that I’m not the only runner out there who plays these weird mental games!

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Responses

  1. I ran across your blog when I was doing a tag search for running and pregnancy and I do the same thing. With a new baby with an erratic sleep schedule and a husband who is working seven days a week for his busy season at work, I find it difficult to want to commit to a race. But yet, I find comfort in having a training plan, or at least at strategy to keep me motivated to stay in shape. Good luck w/ your training and hope you are able to stay warm.

  2. Oh my gosh, I had the same idea in my head this winter. I signed up to run a fairly large half-marathon in The Hague in March thinking that the goal of the race would keep my mileage up through all the dark and gloomy winter months. Halfway through January, though, I just had no motivation left in me, although I was pretty good about keeping it going. Once the mid-winter blues really hit in February and my work schedule got way more stressful, I just kind of gave up training for it. Maybe if I had running buddies here it would be different, but I do almost all my runs alone, so there’s not a bunch of outside pressure to get out and log the miles.
    I’m actually really okay with letting the race go. Yucky February weather gave me an excuse to do more yoga inside, and I think it gave my back and knee time to recover from some injuries. Besides, it’s not like there won’t be other races in the spring or the summer that I can do.
    Hope it’s starting to warm up a bit!

  3. I was just thinking the other day about why I run and came to the realization that a huge part of it is to be part of the running scene… to have a sense of community. Running is great in that it gives one an “in” with a group of usually friendly, like minded people anywhere so when you move across the country (or, in my case across the ocean) you can quickly establish a network. So… I can see why you would sign up for a run to be hanging out with other runners, drinking coffee, chatting about training plans but the beauty of the running community is that you don’t have to run a particular event to be part of a scene. Anyway glad you are out of it AND that you are enjoying your training plan without commitment. Good stuff!


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