Posted by: Ingrid | April 17, 2010

The nerves – they never end

If you’d told me two years ago, when I ran my first half marathon, that going into my seventh half I would be more nervous than ever I wouldn’t have believed you.  Yet here I am a week out, quaking with fear and trepidation.  There are just so many things to be nervous about!  The first time I was nervous that I wouldn’t finished, then I worried that I wouldn’t break 1:50, then I was just getting over the flu, then I was starting my second trimester, then I worried that I wouldn’t be able to finish at the start of my third trimester, then my fear was running 13.1 miles 9 weeks postpartum – what if I couldn’t make it?  Now I’m worried that I’ve put all this time and training in and I won’t meet the goal that I set!  I feel like I can’t win with this!

My goal is to get under 1:40.  I think that if they had pacers I could maybe get below 1:37, but on my own I’ll be lucky to hold a steady 7:30 pace.  Mentally I have the run divided into three 4 mile splits that I would like to run in about 29:40 each, bringing me to 1:29 with 1.1 miles left to race.  At that point I can spend everything that I have left.

Unfortunately, rain is still in the forecast that day.  I hope that changes and I hope that it doesn’t mean gusty winds as well.  I am slightly less worried about the course since checking the elevation again today and realizing that I misread it the first three times I looked it up at mapmyrun.com.  The elevation trend is shaped like a cereal bowl but it’s only a 180 foot drop at the beginning and ascent at the end.  Considering the fact that I read it the first time as 900 feet… well, I can deal with it.  900 feet!!!  How did I misread that?

Not only does the half marathon run through my head ALL THE TIME, but it’s working it’s way into my dreams as well.  Dreams where the first 6 miles are run in a house crowded with people: up and down stairs, crawling over bunk beds, squeezing through doorways.  Then, as I step outside I’m told as I try repeatedly to attach my GPS and ipod, that the only way I’ll come in in time is to run the next 11 miles at a 7 minute pace.  Apparently my half marathon is actually 18 miles.

This does not make for very restful sleep.  My mind is doing more racing than my body is these days!  I know it will all be fine and we will have a fun weekend away and I will get a new t-shirt.  Plus it’s fun to say that I’m running in Kalamazoo.  Can you say Kalamazoo without smiling?  I can’t.

Nerves, nerves, go away!

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Responses

  1. I have had similar dreams where races are like obstacle courses. So funny! I wish your nerves would go away, too, so you could relax and run a great race. Can’t wait to hear.

  2. Believe it or not I’ve actually been to a wedding in Kalamazoo!!! I have a 1/2 this coming weekend too. It’s my first and I can completely relate to the nerves. For various reasons I haven’t been able to train as much as I would have liked, but the goal is to finish and build on the experience 🙂


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