Posted by: Ingrid | December 5, 2010

Am I crazy?

I can hardly believe that I am less than two weeks out from finishing my first “real” nursing pre-req, the first class I have taken in a classroom setting since I had Isaac.  I mean, took Nutrition online last spring, but let’s be real, on a spectrum of ridiculously easy to ridiculously hard, Nutrition is on one end and Anatomy and Physiology is on the other.

I have found that as a student in the classroom, not much has changed.  I still feel like I’m about 8 years old when I walk in the door.  I don’t want to answer questions out loud because I don’t want to look stupid.  When I get to class less than 10 minutes early I feel late.  And my ability to predict how I will do on a test is still notoriously bad.  Though to be fair, I think most of my friends and I went through college bemoaning how badly we had done on a test or paper only to then find out that we’d gotten one of the highest grades in class.  In short, we were the really obnoxious people.

Maybe it’s the fact that it’s the end of the semester and I’m tired, but I can’t help thinking of all of the classes I still have to take.  On one hand I absolutely love it.  I love being back in the classroom.  I love being in school.  I love the challenge and I’m fascinated by the material.  I meant to blog more about it this semester because I cannot believe how out-of-this-world crazily cool our bodies are.  On the other hand, just taking this one (actually two classes, since it’s a combo class) five unit class feels like it’s wiped me out.  I have little free time.  The house has not been cleaned since mid-November.  I don’t remember when I actually cooked a meal last (it helps that husband has been at rehearsals every night the past week for the Christmas musical, but still).  Nap times are supposed to be spent doing homework but my resolve has gradually petered out as the end of the semester has approached and I can’t even enjoy my slacking off because I feel so guilty.  I am fiercely jealous of my free time, especially now that I have a baby, and some days I just don’t want to study or take notes, or look at one more chemical breakdown of what goes on in ATP production, fascinating though it may be.

I guess it’s fortunate that I have studied hard enough and done well enough (with extra points that get tagged onto our exams) at the beginning that even though my exam scores are dropping I somehow manage to have 649 out of 645 possible points and am leading the class by one point.  Which doesn’t really matter since all I need is to get a 4.o  except I feel like if I’m going to sacrifice my free time on the altar of nursing pre-reqs I’d better be getting the highest grade in class!  With one more exam and lab practical left, I think I will be okay but I wish my amazing study skills hadn’t derailed in November.

I tell myself sometimes that I’m sure it would all be easier if I put all this off until I had four kids who were a little older.  But deep down I know that’s not true.  Right now taking classes is probably the easiest it will ever be, which is a little discouraging to think about!  Since the $10,000 for school that I have depends on how long funding for the program lasts, I decided that it would be good to do three classes during the winter term and use the money while it still exists: $2, 300 for classes, books, and lab fees that does not come out of our pocket is something I’m very grateful for.  That will give me the chance to throw my application to the Nursing program in for fall of 2011 (thought I may not be competitive enough at that point) rather than stringing out the pre-reqs for another three semesters and applying in the fall of 2012.

It just sounds like way too much work right now.  If I can’t figure out how to clean the house with a five unit A&P class, how on earth will I manage with ten units of Chemistry, Developmental Psych, and Pharmacology?  How many evenings can I really get away with feeding my husband frozen pizza?

So that’s the plan right now for short term goals: three classes starting in January and a spring marathon.  And all that is making me wonder if I’m not just a little crazy.  Maybe I can find a used house elf on Craig’s List to handle some of the cooking and cleaning for a few months.  That or stock up on lots and lots of frozen pizza!

 

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Responses

  1. So much of what you said could have come from me, especially the frozen pizza. Only I’m trying to work instead of go back to school. If you find some house elves, let me know.

  2. […] the whole, particularly when I stumbled back on the many many many many thoughts I’d had about the nursing school process over the past eight years it has taken […]


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