Posted by: Ingrid | April 21, 2013

Bumpdate: Weeks 6-10

Due Date:  October 24, 2013

Weight Gain:  Down about 2 pounds from pre-preg weight.  Wish it was 5-10.  Who are those women who post on pregnancy forums, “I am thin and have been sick two weeks and have lost eight pounds.”  What do they have that I lack?  Because being sick all the time and NOT losing much weight, really sucks.

Symptoms: This is a terrible terrible set of weeks.  What symptoms have I not had?  Exhaustion, vomiting with and without zofran.  Mood swings, hot flashes, extreme aversions, hatred of every single person around me.  Depression, constipation, bloating.  Extreme possessiveness over the foods that I can eat (while husband seems to be trying to eat MORE of those particular foods).  Desire to disown entire family and run away.

What’s different this time:  My husband’s schedule is not flexible like it was last time so that means if I get extra sleep I don’t get to exercise or do anything else I enjoy, leaving me feeling constantly trapped.  Last time I wanted this to be happening.  This time I most decidedly do not.  Last time I’d gained weight and this time I have lost two pounds.  This time there are even fewer people around to help, which is a whole post of its own.  This time I pay people to come in and help because the alternative is possibly killing my children or myself.

Cravings/Aversions:  Just the thought of food is nauseating most of the time.  Or maybe thinking makes me nauseous?  I’m not really sure.  I want salty things most of the time.  On the aversion list (which is very very long) are almost all sweets, cereal, milk products (except sharp cheese), ice cream, veggies, fruits, peanut butter, artificial sweetener, coffee, water, juice, bread, beans, anything with red sauce, anything Mexican, anything with garlic.  Eggs are usually okay, but only scrambled and with lots of salt.  I have not taken a single prenatal vitamin simply because the thought of swallowing a pill makes me want to throw up.  I have “dream cravings” like wanting a super salty wrap with ranch dressing and bacon or to chug a fishbowl margarita.  Things that would make me very sick but that I wish for.  It’s not that I don’t eat the foods that sound bad, sometimes I do and then I regret it.

Sleep: Last time I remember skimping on sleep a bit.  This time it is a bad night if I only get 8 hours.  I can easily sleep 10 hours and still be tired during the day.

I am loving:  I am loving nothing about this experience so far.  When I find something though, I will for sure let you know!

I miss: My body.  My life.  Feeling functional.  Enjoying things.  Enjoying food.  Feeling well.  Having energy.  Having a digestive system that actually works.  Drinking water.  Having hope for the future.

Are you nesting?  I hired someone to come for two hours because I had not cleaned the house in over a month and the dirt and grime was getting disgusting and making me sick.  I did manage to clean the toilet after three weeks since I am hugging it on a daily basis.

Milestones: Baby is now a fetus and I have dragged myself into the double digits of pregnancy.

Best moment(s):  On the day I hit 10 weeks I was able to eat a normal (clean) diet all day without puking and (almost) without nausea.  That was short lived.  Also, when I came home after the house was cleaned and things were put away.  Granted, I paid for the experience of a clean house, but it was still nice.

I am stressing over:  I am simultaneously stressed over the fact that it feels like the puking will never end (and if this is anything like last pregnancy I am only half way through) and then, when/if it does end, I will gain weight like crazy.

Movement:  No.

It’s a:  Parasitic fetus.  Actually, I would liken it to an uninvited guest that parks itself in your house and demands night and day feeding and care while giving you a three month case of the flu.  And that’s how I feel about that.

Exercise:  I have completely given up doing weights for now.  Hopefully I can pick that up when I feel better.  I have just been too sick to do anything but the “necessary”.  Running has been hard because if I sleep in I am stuck and I never know when I will feel nauseous or have an afternoon/evening that will be spent puking up everything including liquids.  Kind of hampers trying to have a consistent running schedule!  I had one week where my mileage dipped down to 26 miles but I have gamely tried to keep it at 30-ish miles per week.  And oh, they are slow miles!  Like if I hit 9:15 I am doing really well.  I don’t know if it is the bad hydration, exhaustion, caloric deficit, or vomiting taking there toll, but I am crazy slow and hating it.  Also doing some ab work, for what it’s worth, which is not much.  For a couple of weeks I was just getting in the running and not doing any cross training, but I think I am back to doing something on the non-running days, even if it is for only 45-50 minutes.

Diet: My diet is whatever I can eat and keep down.  Most carbs are bad.  Sweets are bad.  Eggs are good.  I am not eating a great diet but that will change as soon as I can stomach things like veggies, fruits, grains, yogurt, etc. again.  My biggest weakness right now is when the nausea escalates and I think that eating will help but then it doesn’t.  Then, three bowls of raisin bran in,  I throw up everything.

Exercise goal for the upcoming weeks:  Keep my mileage at 30 miles, try to up it if I am feeling at all better and try to at least add in weights once.  Once I really start feeling better I would love to get back up to 35-40, cross train more, add in weights, and maybe do some “speed” intervals at an 8:00 minute pace.  Which would be some serious speed work these days.

Belly Shot:

IMG_1383

IMG_1390

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Responses

  1. Oh, Ingrid. I’m so sorry. I was in your exact position last spring, when I was accidentally pregnant with our third. (Our oldest is exactly Isaac’s age; we’re friends on Facebook, in case you need your memory jogged.)

    Anyway, I was distraught and angry and depressed about being pregnant again. I had all of the same thoughts and feelings that you’ve expressed here. The pregnancy was especially hard the third time around, and it was an incredibly tough time. I didn’t think I’d be able to bond easily with the baby once she was born.

    But, oh, my Juliette….she’s my sweet, beloved girl, and such a light in our lives. Yes, having three ages three and under is difficult, but I see the incredibly strong relationship that Addie and Henry have, and am excited to see Juliette and Henry develop a similarly close relationship, given that they’re also a year and a half apart.

    Yes, life has been and will continue to be exhausting and void of much of anything about *me,* so I empathize. But there is beauty in it, too. Hugs. I know how very hard it is.


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