Posted by: Ingrid | July 11, 2016

Two Months: Eyes Wide Open (From July 3)

Dear Wesley,


This letter comes a little late, as we are vacationing in South Dakota.  Because that’s what you do when you have your fourth baby, you take a road trip.  And truly, it hasn’t been bad aside from trying to travel with a baby who cries and can’t keep his pacifier in his mouth.


So far you have seen Mount Rushmore and driven through Nebraska and South Dakota and been adored by family members in Watertown and visited the zoo.  You won’t remember any of it, but It’s pretty sweet to see, particularly the family love.


At two months you are somewhere between 12.5 and 13 pounds, a veritable chunk of baby with squishy thighs and kissable cheeks.  I still think you are our prettiest baby and everyone comments on how much you look like your dad. You now have a barely visible hairline and the softest ever peach fuzz on top of your head.  Sometimes I just rub a finger back and forth because it’s so soft and it won’t last. You have a lovely olive complexion, blue eyes, a strong grip, and a myriad of diverse expressions that play across your face while you are awake and asleep.


You are such a little man now.  I call you that, sometimes, when you look at me so seriously.  Other times I call you a Chubby Bubby.  Don’t even ask, it’s a weird rhyming thing that happens when people look at cute babies and lose brain cells.  When you are well fed and happy, you look very zen, very Buddha-in-training. You are into non-violent resistance, particularly during tummy time.  You have discovered that subversive tummy time is only a nap away. You never know when a nap may hit.


You have moved out of Newborn clothing and into 3 and (sometimes) 3-6 month clothes.  This is a little sad for me, but it is also good, since you are our off season baby and therefore have more winter options in your closet than shorts.  Fortunately, it is entirely appropriate to take your baby out in just a onesie in the summer.  I still swaddle you when you sleep but either you are really strong or I am a lazy swaddler these days because you always get out.  I love carrying you in your Baby K’Tan and can always manage to get a nap out of you when I wear you.  Downside is that it feels like wearing a mini furnace on my chest and you drool all over me.


You are on more of a schedule now, but when you get particularly upset because feeding time is delayed you sound like a little goat and start frantically sucking on your arm.  As an aside, you are so drooly that I am starting to wonder if you are teething.


You can nap with decent consistency now and gave me an 8.5 hour stretch of sleep one of our nights we were on vacation.  Most nights I am up two times, which isn’t terrible. You remain a good eater, and by “good” I mean that you eat well and often and are fat.  It’s okay, I like my babies fat. Plus your eating schedule has me reading at an amazing rate. I really love the amount of time I spend reading when I am nursing a baby, currently I am plowing through Orson Scott Card’s books like you wouldn’t believe. You are not a discreet nursling, which doesn’t shock me at all.  You are just so loud, smacking your lips and gulping like you haven’t eaten in 120 minutes or something.


I have decided that everyone who suffers from insomnia should be given a fat, swaddled, well-fed baby to put on their chest.  When you nap this way (which I know will not be for much longer), I fall asleep and feel like I can’t possibly wake up, like your warmth makes everything inside me feel centered and the rapidity of your breathing deepens and lengthens my breaths.


Part of me is sad that you are no longer a newborn and part of me is delighting in seeing how you learn to relate to the world.  When we had Isaac, I thought it looked so silly when people would get in his face and talk in exaggerated tones to try and get a smile.  Now I know that it’s one of best things in the world to get a smile out of a baby. You are smiling real smiles more and more, and when your siblings get them, they LOVE it.  You tend to smile more at your dad than at me.


When you hear my voice you look worried, like your food source might leave the building and then where would you be?  At the beginning of the month it was so difficult for you to focus on a person when you heard a voice.  Half the time I wasn’t certain if you were interacting with me or my colorful and dangling earrings.  Now you have all these signals; your little noises, your smiles, the way you march your legs up and down, all signs that you are trying to communicate so hard with the outside world.


Watching you wake up to and see the world around you is amazing, but not nearly as precious as the first time I walked into the room and found you awake in your pack n play and leaned over.  You were zoned out looking at the ceiling fan and then all of a sudden you saw me. All your attention centered in with the precision of a laser beam and it took my breath away. It seems so simple to talk about being seen and recognized by a baby but the experience of it is profound. I look forward to catching more of those moments as you change and grow.







  1. I am so glad you write these, thank you. I love our family.

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